All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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