its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
