We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
