Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
