So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
