Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
