Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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