I think my vagina is haunted
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
