Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
