It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
