i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize