I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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