Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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