dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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