His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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