he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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