I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
