Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
