dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
