You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
