This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize