if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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