Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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