so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
