best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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