We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
