I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
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What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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