Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.