So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.