nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say