I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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