Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize