you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
