porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
