I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
