he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
