Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
