She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize