Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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