you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
