awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
