take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
