they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
