Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
