i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
