So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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