Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
