He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
