his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
