I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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