if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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