She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We got so high we made milksteak
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
