p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
