Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
