I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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