You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
