Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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