I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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