we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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