Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
