dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
