I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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