I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
