mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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