just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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