I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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