I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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