I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
