His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize