Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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