Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize